Drivin' through the country side, A proper lady from back East, Spied a quaint country ranch house With all manner of foul and beast.
There were little peeping chickies, Piggies, porkies and a puppy! And MOOEY COWS and calves were grazing, An encounter for this yuppie.
She steered her sports car 'round the silo And slid right to the ranch house door. She basked in all the rural fragrance (cough) And to the rancher she did implore,
"Could you find it in your heart, sir, To escort me at your leisure?" The rancher winched and stuttered some, "I guess it would be my pleasure."
What was this and what was that? Every detail she would question. (It was enough to cause a man To develop indigestion!)
But then, the socialite stopped short! Her eyes grew wide and sparkled green! "Oh, my, that's the most beautiful Rustic sculpture, I've ever seen!"
The rancher looked in disbelief At what captured her attention! The rusty old manure spreader Had changed her phys'cal direction.
"Whatever do you call this piece?" The rancher seemed a little miffed. "It spreads the sunshine," he snarled low, If'n yer smart 'nough to catch my drift!"
"What is the value of the piece As it stands this very day? I wish to prrrrrrrrrrocure this masterpiece And add it to my own display!"
"Ya mean you wanna buy this thing? Just look at the sh..., uh, crud and rust! Not to mention the dings and dents!" "That's why having it is such a must!"
"It's been here over fifty years. A bunch of sunshine it has spread!" "Oh, others have come to admire it, too? Like I have done this day?" she said.
"So, is this sculpture not for sale? Has no one tried to take it?" "I've borrowed it out a time 'r two, But they always seemed to break it.
"Now the sunshine doesn't scatter, It more dribbles, seeps and oooozes!" "You can tell a gifted artist by the vivid words he chooses!
"Let me take it on consignment! I'll not abuse it like the rest! It's sunshine will be spread abroad, It's beauty to their souls caressed!"
"Lady! Get a grip! You have my blessing To pro..., pro..., to buy this spreader here today. So, git, take off, get out o' here And spread yer sunshine where you may!
"'Cause if yer set on ownin' This spreader as yer very own..... YER NUTS! And full of more sunshine Than this spreader has ever thrown!"
The lady laid her money down. The rancher hitched it to her car. She screeched off t'ward the city With sunshine spewing near and far!
The rancher's parting words were heard Of that lady, oh so fine, "Her common sense has long been shoved And jostled where that sun don't shine!"
The other ranch machines were sold. Travlin' the world is now for sure! He's wanted as a guest ARTISTE, On the rustic sculpture lecture tour!!!
2's Dramatis Personae: SIR ALEXANDER Wengrave, and NEATFOOT his man SIR ADAM Appleton SIR DAVY Dapper SIR BEAUTEOUS Ganymede [SIR THOMAS Long] LORD NOLAND Young [SEBASTIAN] Wengrave JACK Dapper, [son to Sir Davy,] and GULL his page GOSHAWK GREENWIT LAXTON TILTYARD [a feather-seller] [MISTRESS TILTYARD] OPENWORK [a sempster] [MISTRESS Rosamond OPENWORK] [Hippocrates] GALLIPOT [an apothecary] [MISTRESS Prudence GALLIPOT] MOLL, the Roaring Girl [Ralph] TRAPDOOR [TEARCAT] SIR GUY Fitzallard MARY Fitzallard, his daughter CURTILAX, a sergeant, and HANGER, his yeoman MINISTRI [COACHMAN] [PORTER] [TAILOR] [Gentlemen] [CUTPURSES] [FELLOW]
Updates please. Now that you've disabled SafeSearch (TM) I fully expect a substantial (i.e. somewhat less than stantial) increase in posts, particularly those of an immature adult nature.
buy the whey, don't expect me to take Scrabble moves in a timely manner when you put down BS words like SH. Twice. I know you're ashamed, but you really need to make it more evident, Timmy.
6 comments:
Spreadin' Sunshine
Drivin' through the country side,
A proper lady from back East,
Spied a quaint country ranch house
With all manner of foul and beast.
There were little peeping chickies,
Piggies, porkies and a puppy!
And MOOEY COWS and calves were grazing,
An encounter for this yuppie.
She steered her sports car 'round the silo
And slid right to the ranch house door.
She basked in all the rural fragrance (cough)
And to the rancher she did implore,
"Could you find it in your heart, sir,
To escort me at your leisure?"
The rancher winched and stuttered some,
"I guess it would be my pleasure."
What was this and what was that?
Every detail she would question.
(It was enough to cause a man
To develop indigestion!)
But then, the socialite stopped short!
Her eyes grew wide and sparkled green!
"Oh, my, that's the most beautiful
Rustic sculpture, I've ever seen!"
The rancher looked in disbelief
At what captured her attention!
The rusty old manure spreader
Had changed her phys'cal direction.
"Whatever do you call this piece?"
The rancher seemed a little miffed.
"It spreads the sunshine," he snarled low,
If'n yer smart 'nough to catch my drift!"
"What is the value of the piece
As it stands this very day?
I wish to prrrrrrrrrrocure this masterpiece
And add it to my own display!"
"Ya mean you wanna buy this thing?
Just look at the sh..., uh, crud and rust!
Not to mention the dings and dents!"
"That's why having it is such a must!"
"It's been here over fifty years.
A bunch of sunshine it has spread!"
"Oh, others have come to admire it, too?
Like I have done this day?" she said.
"So, is this sculpture not for sale?
Has no one tried to take it?"
"I've borrowed it out a time 'r two,
But they always seemed to break it.
"Now the sunshine doesn't scatter,
It more dribbles, seeps and oooozes!"
"You can tell a gifted artist
by the vivid words he chooses!
"Let me take it on consignment!
I'll not abuse it like the rest!
It's sunshine will be spread abroad,
It's beauty to their souls caressed!"
"Lady!
Get a grip! You have my blessing
To pro..., pro..., to buy this spreader here today.
So, git, take off, get out o' here
And spread yer sunshine where you may!
"'Cause if yer set on ownin'
This spreader as yer very own.....
YER NUTS! And full of more sunshine
Than this spreader has ever thrown!"
The lady laid her money down.
The rancher hitched it to her car.
She screeched off t'ward the city
With sunshine spewing near and far!
The rancher's parting words were heard
Of that lady, oh so fine,
"Her common sense has long been shoved
And jostled where that sun don't shine!"
The other ranch machines were sold.
Travlin' the world is now for sure!
He's wanted as a guest ARTISTE,
On the rustic sculpture lecture tour!!!
© 2002, Brenda "Sam" DeLeeuw
This poem may not be reprinted or reposted without the author's written permission.
Whoops.
(probably unnoticed) Runners-up: 1, 2.
2's Dramatis Personae:
SIR ALEXANDER Wengrave, and NEATFOOT his man
SIR ADAM Appleton
SIR DAVY Dapper
SIR BEAUTEOUS Ganymede
[SIR THOMAS Long]
LORD NOLAND
Young [SEBASTIAN] Wengrave
JACK Dapper, [son to Sir Davy,] and GULL his page
GOSHAWK
GREENWIT
LAXTON
TILTYARD [a feather-seller]
[MISTRESS TILTYARD]
OPENWORK [a sempster]
[MISTRESS Rosamond OPENWORK]
[Hippocrates] GALLIPOT [an apothecary]
[MISTRESS Prudence GALLIPOT]
MOLL, the Roaring Girl
[Ralph] TRAPDOOR
[TEARCAT]
SIR GUY Fitzallard
MARY Fitzallard, his daughter
CURTILAX, a sergeant, and
HANGER, his yeoman
MINISTRI
[COACHMAN]
[PORTER]
[TAILOR]
[Gentlemen]
[CUTPURSES]
[FELLOW]
Flanderous stuff.
I read the poem from tit to ass - typical woman.
Updates please. Now that you've disabled SafeSearch (TM) I fully expect a substantial (i.e. somewhat less than stantial) increase in posts, particularly those of an immature adult nature.
buy the whey, don't expect me to take Scrabble moves in a timely manner when you put down BS words like SH. Twice. I know you're ashamed, but you really need to make it more evident, Timmy.
Indeed, I yammer, "SH," a(h)med. And yes, morse planned, trick.
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